Dreams Deferred

Have you ever met one of those people that can say, "I can't believe they pay me to do this"? Can you say that? Do you have a dream deferred for the sake of higher dreams (like providing for family)?

Maybe it is the lull before the holidays; but dreams of the past seem to be haunting me today. What i wouldn't give to be sitting behind a recording console right now, enabling the dreams of musicians, making music that would impact the lives of men and women.

What is your story? What dreams do you have? If God said, "Do whatever is in your heart and I'll bless it," what would you do? Leave a comment below.

Rise Up, Oh Man of God

Back in the fall of '83 i turned away from the Lord. And while it isn't good to speak of things done in darkness, i can say that my life was all about stimulating the pleasure-center of my brain. There is almost something feral about existing in that state. It wasn't pretty. But He was so faithful to call me back. He is good that way.. isn't He?

It was interesting how He worked in my life. In addition to calling scriptures back to mind, He also used a couple of songs that were popular on the local Christian radio station. Glad's "Be Ye Glad" and Phil Keaggy's "Rise Up, Oh Man of God." These songs would show up in my environment at the most opportune times. They would loop in my memory, beckoning me back to Him.

Funny thing about these songs. They were so different. "Be Ye Glad" was the epitome of comfort. It was like a warm blanket and a fireplace after walking in bitter cold. This song, for me, represented His relentless compassion. It was His kindness, leading me to repentance.

Conversely, "Rise Up, Oh Man of God" was a warrior's theme in my life. It was a call to get up. It challenged me to "have done with lessor things." I heard it and felt roused to war.. like the surge after that second cup of coffee in the morning.

This morning i was musing on the simultaneous influence of these contrasting songs in my life. I think these together reflect His mode of operation (at least in my life). He does comfort. His grace for me is extraordinary patient. I can lay my head down, repenting from the guilt of my sin, and wake (surprisingly) to Him calling me to quiet time together. His mercies are truly new every morning.

Yet His compassion is not the end of His call. While He does woo us, there is an active component with which we must participate. Whether or not we feel like it (maybe more so when we don't) we must elevate ourselves from the dust, shake it off, and start running again. We must pick up shield (defensive armor) and sword (offense weapon) and run to the battle once again.

So today, if you're feeling mired by weakness, remember the profoundness of His being for you. Let that speak stamina into your spirit. Get up, and run back to the battle. His hand will strengthen you.

How would you spend the favor of God?

Have you ever had those days when you feel Him near? If He said, "Ask anything today" how would you respond? Our response to that question reveals a great deal about our state of mind. In my younger days my prayer would be, "Come. Reveal your power. Let us know Your presence." There is nothing wrong with this prayer. It is still part of my standard request list. But if i'm to be truly honest, the motivation behind that is fairly selfish. If one maps the request onto those a child would make of a father, it is analogous to "Spend time with me. You're big and strong. I have need of your resources."

There have been some recent times when job stress is high, and the seasons of His nearness elicited a simple prayer. "Just seven two-digit numbers Lord. One lottery winning would set me for life. And think of all the good i could do with it." When this is what comes out of my heart, i know i'm not in a good place. I lose sight of His plan and His provision. All i want to do is escape my situation. It is like a selfish adolescent saying, "Can i please have a car? Just think of all the errands i could run for you if you gave it to me." It reeks of "I want____."

Lately His nearness has evoked a different prayer. "Make me useful for you. Help me build Your Kingdom. Give me clarity to do the things that delight Your heart. Help me to live to the full potential for which you have designed me." It seems to me this is a fairly healthy prayer. The focus is on what He wants. I still seek His nearness, and His power; but somehow there is more gratitude. Somehow it is more focused on meeting the needs of my beloved. Somehow it speaks to a sense of destiny. Or in the words of Francis Frangipane it is an understanding that "He is the God of my future."

How would you spend His favor?

Who in the world reads blogs?

What a bit of self-indulgence blogging is. Really.. who else is interested in the minutia of somebody else's life? But i'm posting this more as a personal diary. A catharsis. If you find this blog, you've discovered my secret little corner of the Internet. Granted.. the only real expectation of privacy i have is that there are a million other people pounding away on their keyboards. This is just one soul, shouting into the hurricane. Being heard is not an expectation. But there is some release to dumping every little thought into words. So there it is. May my words occasionally provide hope.